Twenty-Nine

On the 21st I turned twenty nine. I'm still a little devastated that this is my last year in my twenties. How the fuck did that happen?? I have no idea why it's bothering me so much though. A lot of people that I've spoken to say that the 30's is the new 20's. I hear that a lot of growth, and maturity hits around/after one turns thirty. It's like turning a new leaf, and understanding yourself at another level. When put like that it doesn't sound so bad. In fact, I could use some of that maturity now. Ultimately, I guess what scares me the most is being thirty years old, and not feeling different. Not feeling a sense of accomplishment. Not being able to truly grasp what I want in my life. Feeling just as confused, and directionless as I did at seventeen; at twenty-five. Being stuck. That is what I fear most.

Since there's nothing I can do to stop/pause time I guess I shouldn't dwell on the things I have no control over. I should embrace this year. I should reach as many goals as I can, and burn through any obstacles that try to get in my way. Twenty-nine should be limitless, and it should be eye opening. By the time next October rolls around I should be ready to let my 20's go out with a bang! And that's exactly what I am hoping for today. I'm hoping to be able to reach thirty. I'm hoping to smash the goals I have in place. I'm hoping to advance either in this career, or maybe if the time is right to embark on a new one. I hope to start seeing the fractured parts of my life finally start to heal and move forward. Because we only get to do life once, right?