Election

Politically, 2016 has been...interesting? Difficult? Embarrassing? Progressive? Disgusting? Uncomfortable? Historic? A shit storm? All of the above maybe? I dunno. I normally don't speak about my political views. It just causes a huge issue between people, and it's a headache I do my best to avoid. Same thing goes for racial issues at times. Amongst my family, and close friends I'm usually okay with going into discussions about my opinions because regardless of what my stance is I know that they love me. We can agree, disagree, and even if we don't have the same views we are respectful of each other. I enjoy that. But when you vocalize something to the masses, especially over social media, it seems that people take things extremely personal. 

I get that a lot of bloggers, online personalities, and celebrities constantly share their lives with us. They put themselves front and center for the most part so whatever reaction is brought out from the viewers/readers is on them. This past week though...I was so disappointed. I felt embarrassed for Americans as a whole. There was so much hate, y'all. Name calling, finger pointing, and down right mean things being slung back and forth. BY PEOPLE ON ALL SIDES. I had already started a social media cleanse a few weeks before, but this week's election made me not want to ever get back on. It was a bit disheartening to be honest. And I felt that our society was showing the world just how ugly we could be towards each other. How nasty, cruel, and low we could all stoop.

I've learned to be able to read, or follow along without taking things personally. I read several blogs with authors that support abortion, and those that don't. I follow along with people who are part of or support the LGBT community as well as those who don't/aren't. I know Republicans, Democrats, and Libertarians. I respect different beliefs as long as they aren't hurting anyone, and even when they don't align with my own. That's not to say that I don't get passionate about things, or strongly feel that something is either right or wrong. But I don't shove it down someone's throat, and I don't call people ignorant, uneducated, or dumb just because we are at a disagreement. That's just silly, and reveals just how low the person hurling the insults can go. Which is sad really. I think that people need to take a step back, and really focus on tolerance. But true tolerance. Not this half-assed "You need to be tolerant, but only about the things that I view as right/true because if you believe otherwise then it's wrong and you're stupid." Being able to listen to someone, try to understand a bit of where they are coming from, and then to simply say "Agree to disagree" if it's different from your own views is a beautiful thing. I feel that it shows maturity, and open mindedness. Then again I'm sure there's someone out there who thinks I'm stupid for believing this, and is yelling for me to shove my opinions up my own ass because I'm dumb. So there's that. I hope they have a lovely day though! And I'm not trying to say that I'm always this unbiased, tolerant person either. Trust me I have had some choice words of my own when things got heated, and looking back some of those were not proud moments. Some, I would say again in a heartbeat. That's me being flawed, and I get that it's a bit hypocritical.

I guess what I really wanted to express in this post is that my take away from this whole ordeal is that we have a long way to go, on all sides. We aren't perfect, which makes us human, but we ALL have a lot to learn. Sure this was a setback for some, and a leap forward for others. And I get that for some this election felt as if the times were being set back, and for others it meant that traditional values were being held high. I get it. But Presidents come and go. We as a nation will suffer, and we'll progress MANY times during our existence. Wherever you stood on Tuesday just know that this world, this time, is constantly changing. The people in office, the people in our lives, will always be changing. Rules, laws, and positions will always change. Our country, the leaders we have, will set us back and push us forward. But it will always change. Revolve. How we feel today will be so different eight years from now. That's just life. I'm just happy to be in a country that allows us to vote. That has food, water, and jobs that allow me to provide for my family. I'm grateful for the medicine, the hospitals, and the doctors we have access to regardless of whether we have insurance or not. I do (my employer pays), but my family doesn't (Obamacare cost too much) for those that think I'm only saying this because we have insurance. I'm thankful to live in a country that will allow me to express my opinions without fear of being jailed or killed. But most importantly, I'm grateful to be a part of country that will constantly be changing. That even with setbacks there will be lessons and growth. 

There's enough negative, and bad bullshit in this world. I don't want to spread anymore of that. So, if you voted: good for you. If you didn't: maybe next time? If you hate Hillary: that's okay. If you hate Trump: that's okay too. If this election held the outcome you wanted then congratulations. If this wasn't what you had hoped for then learn from this, and kick into action for the next go around. If you're scared just know that everything is going to be okay. If you're excited: I hope that this next leader makes you proud to have voted for him. Celebrate the fact that people with so many different backgrounds, and with so many different beliefs are allowed to reside in one nation. But above all else, be kind to one another. Love each other. We are only here for a short time. 

November

I'm sure that a few of you noticed that there were some posts that popped up out of nowhere for October. Turns out I had completed several posts, but never actually published them. For some reason or another I just hit save instead of publish, and went about my business. So I just went ahead and issued them. My month has come, and gone y'all. I feel like that buzzing energy that basically took over all last month has faded. On Halloween though, it was at full force, and I felt pretty blissful. The day had not started out well, but by the time the moon came out I felt like I was so aware of everything around me. The way the air smelled, and the way the leaves sounded as they crunched underneath our feet. Everything felt crisp, and my thoughts weren't so muddled even as my head felt a bit fuzzy. October has always been special to me in that way. It's always brought me awareness. Awareness of my emotions, and my senses. Like I mentioned before this month usually brings change of some sort. Either a beginning or an ending. It's always been good to me even when I didn't feel like it had been. So, seeing a new month start was a bit of a bummer. But onward we go!

This month will, fingers crossed, be a bit slower paced. It's also going to bring about some visitors, and the little gets a whole week off for Thanksgiving so we're all looking forward to this. On Halloween weekend we attended one of the little's classmate's Halloween party which turned out to be way more fun than I had expected. Normally I shy away from those things because I've never really found a group of mom's that I click with. There was one instance when I did attempt to make an effort, and I was actually left off on my own while the others chatted. Anytime I would make an attempt to speak up, it was either ignored or brushed off with a laugh. So, I got the hint. Last weekend was really different. There was actually someone there that I knew from when I was a teenager so we were able to catch up. The mom's in attendance didn't all have kids at our school either, but they were all so friendly from the minute we walked in. We all sat around in a circle talking about babies, foods, the kids, work, and how everyone was adjusting. I was given some information about our current school, teachers, and policies that I originally had no clue about. Overall, it was really nice, and I enjoyed myself as much as Em did. I'm actually looking forward to the next little get together.

As awful as things were last year the upside was that it had me so stressed that I barely ate. I lost a lot of weight during that time, and I barely even tried. As life slowly became more different, and as I became more steady emotionally my eating habits slowly started to revert to the way they were before. Since March, I've actually gained about 15 lbs. It has been a slow and steady creep that I only noticed after trying on a pair of jeans that I had put away over the summer. Once I realized how much I had gained I observed my eating habits over the past few weeks. What was I eating? When did I eat the most, and why? It wasn't good, and the majority of it was out of boredom. I'd impulse binge too. So, I've decided to start taking some small steps towards changing my diet. Removing something here; adding something there. Fall is right around the corner for Texas, and of course all of the food and pies anyone could dream of come right along with it. It's because of this that I need to go into the holiday season with some self control in my life. But I won't beat myself up over this too bad. The weight loss is achievable I just need to get after it. So November 1st served as my kickoff day.

That's all I have for you guys today. There are some topics I'll cover soon, like who will be visiting. What all I learned while at that Halloween party. We have concert tickets to go see one of my favorite artists. Em's little interview will go up this month too, and I'm hoping to have some weight progress to report by the end of it all. So here's to November! I hope everyone is having a wonderful start to the month!  

Twenty-Nine

On the 21st I turned twenty nine. I'm still a little devastated that this is my last year in my twenties. How the fuck did that happen?? I have no idea why it's bothering me so much though. A lot of people that I've spoken to say that the 30's is the new 20's. I hear that a lot of growth, and maturity hits around/after one turns thirty. It's like turning a new leaf, and understanding yourself at another level. When put like that it doesn't sound so bad. In fact, I could use some of that maturity now. Ultimately, I guess what scares me the most is being thirty years old, and not feeling different. Not feeling a sense of accomplishment. Not being able to truly grasp what I want in my life. Feeling just as confused, and directionless as I did at seventeen; at twenty-five. Being stuck. That is what I fear most.

Since there's nothing I can do to stop/pause time I guess I shouldn't dwell on the things I have no control over. I should embrace this year. I should reach as many goals as I can, and burn through any obstacles that try to get in my way. Twenty-nine should be limitless, and it should be eye opening. By the time next October rolls around I should be ready to let my 20's go out with a bang! And that's exactly what I am hoping for today. I'm hoping to be able to reach thirty. I'm hoping to smash the goals I have in place. I'm hoping to advance either in this career, or maybe if the time is right to embark on a new one. I hope to start seeing the fractured parts of my life finally start to heal and move forward. Because we only get to do life once, right?