Strong Influences

I'm all for female empowerment. I feel that Emery should be raised with the reality that she can accomplish anything she puts her mind to regardless of her gender. So long as she works hard for it, and earns it fairly the world is her oyster. I also want her to know that when it comes time for relationships that she should always approach them with the idea of companionship and friendship in mind. Not because she feels like she needs someone to "survive". But most importantly, I want her to embrace herself for whoever she becomes.

I grew up having a very independent mind frame. In a lot of ways I’m just like my mother and in others we are polar opposites. So for the longest time I just assumed I was like this because of her. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized I had gotten some of that mind set from my father. Now, don’t take that as me saying my mother is weak; she’s anything but. And in fact, I only came to this realization AFTER talking with her about who I got my personality from. She told me that I was a perfect combination of the two, but the characteristics that shone through the most (because they were the ones on the surface) were the ones I got from my father.

My mother says this is because we had a lot of strong influences in our lives from both a man and a woman. Growing up I saw a man who worked hard to provide for his family. I witnessed my father quit drinking from one day to the next in order to be involved in our lives. There wasn't a single game, contest, play, or meet that he missed. We may not have always had the nicest or most expensive things but we never went without. We also had a mother who knew her children weren't perfect and never claimed them to be. She said at first she had no idea how to handle us, but eventually she grew to learn how to proudly support and defend our differences. Whether it was my “goth” phase or my brothers “girl-jean” wearing phase she was the first to step up to the plate and allow us to expresses ourselves.

Having all of this strength being displayed in our lives made us who we are today. Because of them I can say that I am so proud of my upbringing. When my mom thought something was a little too rough for a girl, my dad was there to reassure her that I was fully capable of achieving it. When my dad thought my brother might be gay, my mom was there to remind him that it didn't matter because they loved him either way. And looking back on it all I’m proud that men played just as big of a role in shaping who I am, as women did. This is exactly what I want for Emery. I want her to grow up knowing that strength comes in all forms & genders. I want her to know that she’ll always have our love. And I want her to know that whatever she chooses to do, we’ll be right there behind her. Both the men and women in her life. No matter what.

Thankfully, I have the most amazing family in the world. And so far, they're helping me achieve just this. :)