10/17
Vacation!!! Emery and I drove up to Oklahoma to pick up my husband. We stayed up there till Tuesday because his boss paid for our room. The drive up there was brutal. Emery had a really bad diaper rash, and a runny nose. A three hour drive turned into a 4 in a half hour drive. We got there and had a BBQ with some of the other workers and the ladies from the BAYMONT INN. The guys have been there for 8 months, so they thought they'd do something nice for them as well. I got to see the mountains, and we even did some shopping for Emery! Finally got the crib we wanted for her!! Then we got to go eat at this place called Meers, which was an old run down looking place, but it had the BEST burgers. They make it out of longhorn meat, which is like 10x's better than regular meat. It was delicious! I enjoyed the mini vacation.
10/19
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUSBAND!!! Yup, it was my husband's birthday and we spent it driving home. But hey, we got to spend it together at least? He turned 24, and when we got home my mom had a cake and card waiting. We'll probably celebrate it some more this weekend.
10/20
Happy Anniversary!!! Ahh!! Two years. We have made it, two whole years. Granted, they weren't the most wonderful or easy, and we had our fair share of problems, but we MADE IT despite the odds! We decided to work on our relationship, to listen to each other, and we as a couple are better because of it. That is something to be proud of. We didn't throw in the towel like so many other young couples do and that, to me, is an accomplishment. It gives me hope, that if we can work things out as they come that we can make it through anything!
Dear Husband, I love you. You are my best friend. WE have made it two years! I know that things have not been easy, and we have had our differences. But, I want to thank you, for not giving up on US. For continuing this journey of marriage with me.
I also want to thank you for all of the good times, and the bad ones (ok, maybe we could have left some of those bad ones out?). They have made us who we are today. We are growing up together, and I feel lucky to have you by my side as we do so. And finally I'd like to thank you for our wonderful daughter Emery (because let's face it, without you she would not be here). You gave me the gift of motherhood, and I feel truly blessed having her in our life. She has brought us closer together, in ways neither one of us thought was possible.
You are a wonderful husband, and a wonderful father. You are an amazing person, and I love you. So here's to 80 more years of life, love, and laughter.
Love,
Your Wife
p/s And thank you for helping me with all of my ridiculous ideas and plans that may not have always been the best or the smartest (and you told me repeatedly so), but you helped me anyways.
10/21
Happy Birthday to ME!! I turned 23 yesterday. I also found out that Emery has a yeast infection (that bad rash I mentioned earlier), lots of congestions, bad allergies, and what looks to be like the starting of an ear infection.
Yesterday I contemplated some life "altering" decisions. Job: I might have another job soon. I need insurance though, and it'll take three months before I can get it through them (if they make me full time). And that's if the job actually gets offered to me. Moving: We are saving a lot of money by being in my parents "guest house" but living right next door is starting to cause some strain. Constantly being told what to do, how to do it. Being teased about my weight, or about how broke I am hasn't been fun. So, moving seems to be a pretty good option. But, that means bills, rent, and no help with Emery when I need it. Also, Beau has been asked to go work in WASHINGTON (state) if his boss gets the bid. He'd be up there for 8 months. His boss said that they could make some arrangements for me and Emery to stay up there too. So that could be another option. Marriage: My husband, being here only 3 days, is already bored. His phone is ringing again, he's wanting to drink, and go out. I on the other hand am trying to make up some time at work, clean up the house, do the unfinished laundry, and catch up on some much needed sleep. This in turn is getting me called "boring" and too "knaggy" when I complain about not having enough help. Needless to say, we're butting heads. I see parenting one way, he sees it another. I have my priorities in one order, his are in a completely different order. I'm thinking about US, he's thinking about HIM. I'm tired of coming last in a long list of "priorities".
And so yesterday, on MY birthday, I put these requests out on the table:
Think about US. Think about this relationship. What do you want from it, and what do you not want from it? This afternoon when I get home, we'll talk about what we've both thought about. We'll discuss whether we still want to be in this relationship or not. And what direction we want to go in. We can't keep doing this circles. I can't keep doing these circles.
Today
Last night went very well. We both want to make this relationship last. We both want to grow old together, and better our relationship. We talked, and we have both agreed on some changes (ex: I not act like I'm 80 and can no longer go out; he not act like he's 15 and want to go out all the time) and some compromises. He actually made PLANS for MY birthday! He arranged for my mother to babysit, then he took me to Chili's for dinner, I received my present (a beautiful bracelet), and then some of our friends had made me a cake so we went over to their house. It was such a nice evening! He stayed sober, so I could drink, but even with that I didn't drink much. It was still a nice gesture. We were home by 10:30, got Emery, and we went to bed. Lovely. PERFECT, even.
And today, I got to see JULIE!! She's amazing. I miss her so much. Plus, it's FRIDAY!! So, it's going to be a good day! And this afternoon, Beau said we can go and shop for something for OURSELVES. I have my eye on either the Grey's latest season and maybe a second movie (oh! or that nifty make-up bag I've been wanting) or a treadmill (depending on my budget, lol!). Something tells me, I should decide on the movie though. Either way, it'll be nice to spend on myself for a change.
I'm happy. I feel, at peace in a way. Emery is being taken care of and getting better. My husband and I have an understanding and we're communicating. And we are getting our financial crap in order. Our legal crap is being taken care of.
And I'm happy.
Yay me!!
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