Wordless Wednesday

Take a Break

Yesterday, I was feeling this mix of sadness and happiness right when I woke up. As I was fixing coffee and shouting about the misplacement of pants that didn’t get washed I started crying. In that brief little moment, I felt defeated. Over what? I have no idea. But we made it out the door in record time! My makeup was done, Em's had all of her stuff ready, and I was actually really proud of us. Then during the day, I had these feelings of anxiety and frustration. I felt restless and discontent. “I need to move, I need to get out.” I thought to myself. When lunchtime finally rolled around those thoughts quickly dissipated and they were replaced by this sudden rush of motivation. I sat at the red light thinking, “You’ve got this! It’s a new week. You’re going to have a great rest of your day. And you’re going to get some stuff done. Not just at work, but at home too. You can do this!” Then, as the workday came to an end I felt tired and ready for bed. Dreading the list of chores I knew were waiting for me at home. And this made me think about the amount of work it takes for some people to just get out of bed every morning. Trust me I have been there, countless times. The struggle to just get through one task at a time. How putting one foot in front of the other is mostly done for the sake of others. Then our minds end up working against us, and everything just feels so heavy. I remember. 

And I know some people may feel much worse. I know my little problems may not even be a blip in someone else's life. But today, I wanted to jump on here really quickly to say that if you’re feeling a little low, it's okay. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or tired, it's okay. If you want to go home and do nothing besides getting some rest, do it. If you aren’t feeling 100% yourself, that's okay. It’s fine if you need to sit and cry for a while too. Let it out. I know that when you’re in the thick of it you may feel like it’s never-ending, but I can tell you that eventually, it does stop. Whether it’s due to therapy, a change in the season, getting some exercise, or even speaking with your doctor about being put on medication- either short or long term- there are ways to feel better. You CAN feel better. With some work and patience, the hard days can become few and far between. And don't ever listen to anyone who says "Just suck it up." They don't get it, probably never will, and that's okay too. You are in charge of yourself. Not them. 

And I say all of this because I need to hear it too. On days like yesterday, when I felt all of these emotions building up. Feeling the weight of these unrealistic expectations I had set. Having these "flashback" types of feelings from days when a bit of sadness devolved into a deep depression. Well, it was all building up again and I felt like I really needed a break. So, I decided that’s what I would do. I went home and cuddled up on the couch with Corey. I put aside the school work that could wait another day. We went grocery shopping without a list while Em was at dance. Then when we got home we watched some TV while eating spaghetti and Em gained some extra screen time for doing her laundry. The dishes remained in the sink afterward and I took the pants out of the dryer. The pants are still in the laundry room. I took a shower, listened to an episode of a podcast, and then went to sleep. And that’s what I needed. I needed an afternoon of not NEEDING to do something. Today, I‘ll let the stress come back. I’ll grumble about the dishes. I’ll stress over my homework. But yesterday. Yesterday, I did what I needed to make sure that I was okay. To take a bit of a "time out" from all of the chaos and worry. And today, I’m feeling much better. I’m ready to hit the ground running. So, if you find yourself needing a break too - take it. Rest. Recharge. You've got this. 

Gratitude Journal // Three - Nine - Twenty One

Gratitude Series: Sometimes, I let the bad in my day get the better of me. Other times, I get so caught up in my own little world that I forget to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. I find myself taking things for granted over and over again. So, today, I’m choosing to give thanks for all of the things.

• Tax Return: Since I started school, finances have been really tight. Like, penny-pinching. As soon as I received my W-2 I was able to file my taxes right away. Then my return was deposited into my bank about two weeks later. And it arrived just in time. My car is needing new tires, windshield wipers, and a tune-up. Plus the check engine light kicked on due to a sensor so that will have to be fixed as well. Now with the extra money, I’ll be able to get all of this done!

• N & B: There are two people who have helped me with my math homework and study reviews. Without them, I wouldn’t be passing my math class right now. Seriously. So, I am really grateful that they take time out of their day or weekend to help me out. Whether it's going over my packets or having a FaceTime session. So, for them, I am grateful. 

• SmartHER News: It’s been about four months since I’ve navigated to “regular” news sites for information on anything. Obviously, there was the major news of Kanye and Kim getting a divorce so I did hit up Yahoo to read an article about it. I really wish I hadn’t, because I don’t really care about the Kardashian’s. However, I was kind of curious as to what the “final straw” was for those two crazy kids. Weird, I know. Anywho, on the occasion that I do decide to read up on what’s been going on in the world, Jenna at SmartHer News is actually really great! You can find her on YouTube, Instagram, and on her website. She stays current, and for the most part, she’s unbiased. I say most, because sometimes in political areas you can kind of make out what “side” she’s personally on, but she still gives you the facts. Anyway, she provides news in a very clear manner which is something that I really like. 

• Spring: Clear skies and warmer temperatures. That’s my jam. Give me mid 60’s to low 70’s any day and I am stoked! Being able to open the front door and raise the windows up to let the fresh air in is also something I look forward to in the Spring. As much as I enjoyed the cold, except for that one time, I think Spring is my favorite season. PLUS, Daylight Savings Time kicks in too! And oh how I love that extra bit of sunshine in the day. I feel a spring cleaning session coming on too. Yup. I’m ready for it. I’M HERE FOR IT. Let’s go mother nature.

• Nice Coworkers: Sometimes you just need people in the workplace who don’t completely suck. You know? Makes your day more enjoyable. Thankfully, I have some of those people. Now, if only I could convince my boss to switch over to a four-day workweek. That would be the cherry on top! But alas, if that's not going to happen, at least my coworkers don't make me feel all stabby. 

And that wraps up my gratitude post for this month. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What do you do to help bring some positivity back into your day if it's been a bad one? How do you make sure to stay grounded? And what are your plans for this Spring? Until the next post, I hope everyone has a really lovely week! Adios!

“Children, let us love not in word or speech but in deed and truth.” 

 // 1 John 3:18. 

 ❤