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Wordless Wednesday

Take a Break

Yesterday, I was feeling this mix of sadness and happiness right when I woke up. As I was fixing coffee and shouting about the misplacement of pants that didn’t get washed I started crying. In that brief little moment, I felt defeated. Over what? I have no idea. But we made it out the door in record time! My makeup was done, Em's had all of her stuff ready, and I was actually really proud of us. Then during the day, I had these feelings of anxiety and frustration. I felt restless and discontent. “I need to move, I need to get out.” I thought to myself. When lunchtime finally rolled around those thoughts quickly dissipated and they were replaced by this sudden rush of motivation. I sat at the red light thinking, “You’ve got this! It’s a new week. You’re going to have a great rest of your day. And you’re going to get some stuff done. Not just at work, but at home too. You can do this!” Then, as the workday came to an end I felt tired and ready for bed. Dreading the list of chores I knew were waiting for me at home. And this made me think about the amount of work it takes for some people to just get out of bed every morning. Trust me I have been there, countless times. The struggle to just get through one task at a time. How putting one foot in front of the other is mostly done for the sake of others. Then our minds end up working against us, and everything just feels so heavy. I remember. 

And I know some people may feel much worse. I know my little problems may not even be a blip in someone else's life. But today, I wanted to jump on here really quickly to say that if you’re feeling a little low, it's okay. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or tired, it's okay. If you want to go home and do nothing besides getting some rest, do it. If you aren’t feeling 100% yourself, that's okay. It’s fine if you need to sit and cry for a while too. Let it out. I know that when you’re in the thick of it you may feel like it’s never-ending, but I can tell you that eventually, it does stop. Whether it’s due to therapy, a change in the season, getting some exercise, or even speaking with your doctor about being put on medication- either short or long term- there are ways to feel better. You CAN feel better. With some work and patience, the hard days can become few and far between. And don't ever listen to anyone who says "Just suck it up." They don't get it, probably never will, and that's okay too. You are in charge of yourself. Not them. 

And I say all of this because I need to hear it too. On days like yesterday, when I felt all of these emotions building up. Feeling the weight of these unrealistic expectations I had set. Having these "flashback" types of feelings from days when a bit of sadness devolved into a deep depression. Well, it was all building up again and I felt like I really needed a break. So, I decided that’s what I would do. I went home and cuddled up on the couch with Corey. I put aside the school work that could wait another day. We went grocery shopping without a list while Em was at dance. Then when we got home we watched some TV while eating spaghetti and Em gained some extra screen time for doing her laundry. The dishes remained in the sink afterward and I took the pants out of the dryer. The pants are still in the laundry room. I took a shower, listened to an episode of a podcast, and then went to sleep. And that’s what I needed. I needed an afternoon of not NEEDING to do something. Today, I‘ll let the stress come back. I’ll grumble about the dishes. I’ll stress over my homework. But yesterday. Yesterday, I did what I needed to make sure that I was okay. To take a bit of a "time out" from all of the chaos and worry. And today, I’m feeling much better. I’m ready to hit the ground running. So, if you find yourself needing a break too - take it. Rest. Recharge. You've got this.