Old

A little over two weeks ago, I fell as I was leaving work. We have this slope that leads up to a garage, and our entire drive/parking area is made up of loose rocks. I had my books, my back pack, my purse, and a drink all either on me or being carried. As I was making my way down this slope some of the loose rocks gave way, and I almost did the splits. Only, I landed on my left knee. Full force. Now, despite the recent weight loss I’m still not very light. So, imagine most (if not all) of your weight on top of your knee being slammed onto rocks. There was a bit of blood, a quiet “SHIT!”, and I limped my unhappy ass to the car. I had two exams and I was already running behind. I didn’t look at it again for the rest of the day, but I did limp around.

The next day I had a huge bruise. Sorry I didn’t take pictures. I had a scrape that I cleaned up, iced, and I went about my business. Limping. Fast-forward to two weeks later, and the bruise is almost completely gone, but my knee is still in PAIN. And the limping in still here. I tried to run on it, and that failed miserably. I tried icing it again. I stretched it out thinking it might just be a kink I need to push through. I’ve even tried to keep off of my feet and keep my leg elevated as much as possible.

Today, I still have a limp. My knee still hurts and I have this overwhelming desire to buy myself some Bengay, calcium supplements, and a knee brace. Seriously, this fall doesn’t even register on my “Top Ten Worst Falls”. I bounced back from those within a few days. So I found myself asking “Why the hell is this one taking so long?” Then I realized... “Oh yea...because your OLD! Now get over it!” 

So, off I go to buy some Bengay. 

I Thought About It...

First, let me just say that I absolutely hate algebra. I don’t know why I have to know it because my major only requires basic math. Last week in my algebra class was pretty insane and I have no idea how I’m going to pass my exams. BUT hopefully, I will. With that said, I’ve been getting migraines lately. The kind that cause me physical pain all down my neck and shoulders. The kind that make me want to curl up in a ball, with all of the lights turned off, and just sleep. But being a mom, as all of you may know first hand, means that I can’t do that. And being a full-time college student kind of adds to the stress and pressure. So, last week during my classes I literally felt like every inch of my body hurt. Light hurt, sound hurt, and just trying to make myself retain the information I was given HURT. 

I don’t think it’s algebra or history's fault, LOL! How could knowledge (the school kind) possibly cause you pain? It can’t. I think it was just my body’s way of telling me to stop for a minute. I’ve been stressed out a lot over some stuff here at home. I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to go about putting money aside for our vacation. I’ve been loaded with Midterm Exams and quizzes. And finally, I’ve been trying to put in more hours at work. We need the money. I feel like I’m being overloaded and stretched pretty thin. These migraines seem to pop up on days when I feel like I have too many things to do and not enough hours. 

So, do you know what I thought about last Thursday as I got out of class?? Loading myself a bowl. Ha! Yea, I’m not too proud of that, but at the same time I’m not ashamed. If you've read my Mary Jane page, you know I’m Pro-Marijuana Legalization. Of all the drugs out there I believe that weed should be just as legal as cigarettes and alcohol. If you’ve read my page you also probably know that I used to be a pot smoker. I wasn’t a hardcore “user”. You can even ask people that knew me then and they’ll tell you the same thing. But I did indulge every now and then. And one of the greatest benefits for me was: no headaches! EVER. Ahh, those were the days. But, unless it’s legalized in Texas or I move to a state that does have it legalized I won’t be touching it any time soon. Even then, I probably wouldn’t until after Emery left the nest. This is just how I feel about it. I can’t risk doing anything “illegal” because I have my daughter now. I wouldn’t ever do anything to jeopardize having her taken away or going to jail. 

So, if I’m not ashamed what’s with the “not too proud” feelings you ask? Well, I felt like a damn failure that’s why! After thinking about it and playing it over in my head (yea, I went as far as to day dream about it) I felt like I was weak. Not because I wanted to smoke to get rid of the damn migraine, but because THOUSANDS of women do what I’m doing right now without lighting up and much less with a spouse to help them! And here I was whining and complaining over a damn migraine. Here I was thinking how if I just had myself a mini bowl the pain would go away and I could get on with my evening. An evening that I had more than enough help to get through. THOUSANDS of women (and men) out there are doing this and more as single parents every day. 

So yea, I felt really, really small. I put on my favorite Kottonmouth Kings tunes, popped three Tylenol, and sucked it up.