As many people have already heard, on August 17th Netflix released the movie "To All The Boy's I've Loved Before" which is an adaptation of a young adult trilogy by Jenny Han. Now, I've seen the books and even downloaded a sample a few years ago thinking I'd eventually get to it, but never did. So, when I first saw the trailer I thought "Oh, this looks cute! I need to read the book before it comes out." Again, that never happened. I marked it as a "to watch" and then quickly forgot about it. Before I knew it the day of the release had arrived, and my sister-in-law sent me a text that Saturday telling me to watch it as soon as possible. It was cute, she loved it, and we needed to discuss it. So, after we got back from New Mexico I took one afternoon to pop some popcorn, grab a few chocolates, and sit down to watch the movie. At worst, I'd waste an hour and a half of my life. At best, it would be a cute high school rom-com like "The Kissing Booth". What was completely unexpected was how this movie made me feel though. How it made me rethink a few things about my life. From growing up to even now in my adulthood. And y'all, I completely fell in love with it! I've watched it a total of six times already; no shame. I'd probably go steady with it if I could. Of course, it has its flaws, but what movie doesn't? What I enjoyed most about To All The Boys is that it took me back to some of the good moments in high school. It made me feel giddy again, and allowed me to remember the butterflies that I got when I had a crush. Or how intense I felt about my first love. And oh my gosh, can we talk about Peter Kavinsky?! Can we talk about how amazing it is to see a woman of color as a lead? If you're down, keep reading. Before you continue just know that there are spoilers below. So, if you haven't watched the movie yet, I suggest you do so before reading this. For everyone else, I'll go back to my regularly scheduled programming soon, I promise.
First, I want to talk about how Netflix was one of the only companies that was okay with pushing a film that kept the lead as originally written. Several other offers were presented to Han, but none seemed to care about the importance of having an Asian American actress play an Asian America character. As someone who grew up watching rom-coms that for the most part only ever had white females as the leads, it was so awesome to see another group of women have this representation in a movie. I know this stuff is all make-believe, and even the "based on true events" kind of movies exaggerate the stories for the purpose of entertainment. But when you're a person of color, it's surprising what a difference it can make to see someone with your same skin tone portraying a lead character in a movie. Playing someone that's being "swept off of their feet". Or when they're the girl that's "falling in love", or "gets the guy in the end". It really can make you think, "Wow, she's just like me. I can have this too." And I think that is so damn important. So, I feel like Netflix deserves a lot of credit for leading the way, and setting an example that other companies can follow.
Second, I feel like this movie was really well received because of how simple and innocent it was. We need more movies like this, y'all! It's a story about first love, acceptance, inclusion, and growing up. Lara Jean is sixteen years old, and just like any other girl her age, she's had several crushes. However, "love" in books/movies is rather different than experiencing it in real life. I totally understand her views on this. So, when she finds herself having feelings that seem to be too much, or too complicated she writes a letter to that person. BUT there's no intention of ever sending them out. Instead, these letters serve as a way for her to get her feelings out while also helping her figure out how she truly feels. So, when these letters eventually do get out, not only is she mortified but it causes some complications in her attempt to stay off the radar. Now, I remember the first time I talked to someone about a crush that I had, and I said things that I NEVER in a million years would have said directly to them. We were in an above ground pool late one night, and neither of us saw that my crush was standing off to the side. Within hearing distance. It wasn't until he cleared his throat, and stepped up onto the platform that I turned around and almost died of embarrassment. And who hasn't had a moment like this before? So, this was something that allowed me to relate a bit to Lara Jean's situation. Of course, there's so much more to the story, and you'll have to watch (or read) it to find out. But there's also a lot of innocence to it as well. LJ is definitely more old fashion, and takes physical intimacy seriously. She's not as experienced as the rest of her peers which was something that I thought was cool to see. In a time when every other "high school" movie that gets cranked out portrays young adults as these constantly horny sex crazed kids it was nice to see a movie that didn't focus on that. Yes, it does insinuate some stuff, but Lara Jean isn't like that and makes no apologies for it. For once, this story focused more on building a relationship based on things that the two characters had in common. With the whole "fake relationship" scheme as kind of a front it left room for these two to get to know each other without all of the pressure. In the end, this story focused more on the emotional side than the physical one and it definitely paid off.
And finally, let's talk about Peter Kavinsky! First, his character is played by a young man named Noah Centineo. He has one of the cutest smiles, and a few fun facts: he plays in The Fosters, and has another Netflix film coming out next month. And I'm not going to lie, after Noah makes his first appearance in the movie I paused it in order to ask my sister-in-law how old he was because it's super awkward to find yourself thinking an actor is pretty hot only to find out he's under 18. So, I'm happy to report that he's 22 years old. Feel free to drool during that hot tub scene without getting that guilty feeling, ladies. *Ahem* Now that we've gotten that out of the way let me just say that Noah's character "Peter" was simply amazing! Yes he's a jock, and there are a few times when he messes up. BUT he's also a teenager and he's still a really decent guy. From being kind and respectful. He doesn't pressure Lara Jean into anything and allows her to take the lead when it comes to displays of physical affection. To him being mature and thoughtful. The kombucha scene after LJ's dad says no alcohol, and he talks about having to drive responsibly. And even when he's in a fake relationship he still takes interest in what Lara Jean likes. There's one scene when he watches "Sixteen Candles" with the Covey sisters, and even though it's a film he originally had no interest in watching he does so because it's a movie that Lara Jean likes. Yes, it's in the contract, but he actually follows through and discusses it with them. Then there's another moment when he goes to the Korean grocery store across town to buy Lara Jean her favorite yogurt. All of this to show that he's paying attention. And even though things are kept pretty friendly he still lets her know that he finds her interesting, and attractive. And I feel like this made him seem so genuine, and likable. He's the kind of guy you would love your daughter to bring home one day. Hell, I wish we had more guys like him when I was in high school. Would have made it more bearable I think. All around, I think Peter's character is very much needed in this day and age. I think he's a wonderful example of how to treat someone you're in a relationship with, and I hope that that sinks in for the thousands of young women out there that have seen this movie. Girls, find yourself someone that has similar qualities to Peter.
Of course for us adults, who know that relationships take a lot of work once you get passed the "honeymoon" phase, this movie may seem just like every other teen movie at first glance. But several of the takeaways I got, as 30-year-old watching this movie, was the importance of the "little things". Like doing stuff that we may not have done on our own just because our partner enjoys it. If he/she wants to go hiking but you don't, do it anyway. And don't complain about it. Or having simple conversations, actually listening, and not being afraid to communicate with our significant other. Even when it's about the hard stuff. Or acknowledging the other person's interest, and actually taking an interest in them because it makes our partners happy. Yes, it may seem completely boring to you, but if he/she finds something to be truly fascinating ask them to tell you more about it. And sure things may not be all hot/heavy anymore after kids and work, but wouldn't it be something to walk hand in hand from time to time or get a kiss after a long day? Let them know that you still see them. When I saw these simple interactions in the movie for the first time I remember thinking, "Whoa...when was the last time I walked in somewhere holding someone's hand?" When was the last time someone did something for me simply because they knew I liked it? When was the last time I said something to let someone else know that I valued them in my life? As I sat there with the credits rolling all I could think about were how these small gestures of intimacy in this movie were what I wanted in my real life. They made me think about how often we let that stuff fade away once we get to a certain point in a relationship. And what the hell is up with that, y'all? Again, I know young love is vastly different from what we end up with as adults, but does that mean we shouldn't incorporate some of that into the relationships we have now? Regardless of our age?
So, that about sums it up for this post. I could go on and on, but these are the highlights. Since this is a trilogy, Netflix has left the door open for the sequel which I'd totally be down for. Though, if we don't get it I'm satisfied with the ending that we did get in this one. Also, after doing some digging online I've seen that a good chunk of the book was left out. Apparently they would have added a bit more depth, and incorporated Josh a bit more which would have been nice to see. So, if a second movie is made there may be a bit more story. Sadly, I did read some spoilers about book three, and just "NO", Jenny Han. NO. So, I'm a little on the fence about how far I'd like them to take these. I'm still happily floating on the cloud of PETER + LARA JEAN= FOREVER. And I don't want anything stomping all over that. Capiche? So, have any of you watched the movie or read the books? What are your thoughts? Did you hate it or love it? Are you down for a sequel? How great were all of those 80's - 90's references? Was I the only one who noticed some "10 Things I Hate About You" similarities? And hello John Corbett, am I right? Gosh he just gets better with age, doesn't he? Now, if you need someone to talk to about all of the feels I'm here for it! Y'all know where to find me on the interweb.
📷: Netflix stills
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