Turning 25 had me all kinds of stressed out. To be honest, it still does. Maybe not for the same reasons that some might think though. Clearly I did things in a weird order:
1. Moved 2. Married 3. Baby 4. School
So sitting here a week after turning 25, looking at everything I have left to do and how old I’ll be once I actually do it has been a bit daunting. I feel like time is just passing me by. Too quickly. I feel like by this age I should have done/seen/accomplished a lot more than what I have. I know life throws you for a loop some times, but mine doesn't seem to let up. It’s on repeat. And I’m kind of tired of the same old routine. I’m ready for a change. A positive one.
Looking back, this life isn't exactly what I had pictured for myself. Not that I would trade it for the world. It’s just strange to think back to what my old self (compliments of journals) thought about the future. Seeing how differently I view the world, what’s important to me, and my goals now compared to then is like looking at two different people. I've grown in some areas, floundered in others, and down right sunk to the bottom in several. And this is terrifying.
I've always said that I’d like to never loose who I am. In many ways I can say that I've achieved this. I’d like to think that I still have a bit of the old me somewhere inside. But, who am I kidding? Growing up changes you. Whether you’re ready for it or not. So instead of being upset with the changes that age brings I should embrace them.
So, 25, hit me with your best shot! I’m ready to see what this year brings me. I'm ready to grow, to flounder, and sink some more. I'm ready to gain that next year, and hopefully be a lot smarter and wiser than I am today. I'm ready.
October 21, 2012
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are”.- e.e. cummings
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